Next steps
This module helps you plan what comes next and where to find extra support if you need it.
Module 5 of 5 · ~20 min · Your pace
You’ve learned new skills and started seeing your patterns. That’s the hard part.
Change doesn’t happen all at once — it happens by repeating small steps. This module is about what comes next: how to keep going, how to stay on track, and what to do when things feel heavy.
Your personal plan to continue
Think about what you want over the next months and years: school, friendships, hobbies, the kind of person you want to be. What would make you feel more in control, more like yourself?
When you imagine your life going well, what does that look like?
Suggested questions:
- How do you want to feel most days?
- What kind of person do you want to be?
- What do you want more space for in your life?
Looking at everything you’ve worked on, what is one thing you want to keep doing, or try more of?
Pick any that feel true.
For many people, harmful and risky online behaviour slowly takes space away from important things in life, like friendships, hobbies, school or work and sleep.
If this behaviour took less space, what could get better?
Pick everything that feels true
These are real things. They don’t happen overnight, but they add up — and you’re already doing the work.
🔁 Setback
A setback is when you fall back into an old pattern after trying to change.
It happens to most people when learning a new habit.
If you return to an old pattern, it doesn’t erase the progress. It means your brain is still practising and learning.
Where are you with setbacks right now?
Learning from a setback
Think back to a setback — yours, or one you’re worried about.
1. What was happening?
Where you were? What was going on?
2. What were you feeling?
3. What thoughts came up?
4. What did you do?
Which situations make things harder for you?
Pick any that fit.
The more of these you notice early, the easier it is to pause before things go further.
What could help next time
A setback happens usually when early warning signs are ignored or too strong to handle. The sooner you notice, the easier it is to change direction.
Your warning signs
Quick reminder of what to watch for:
- In your feelings. Empty, overwhelmed, bored, disconnected
- In your thoughts. “Just one more time”, “Nobody will know”, “I’ll stop after this”
- In your behaviour. Scrolling without thinking, isolating, opening certain apps
- In your body. Restlessness, tension, trouble focusing
Cards of change
Change moves back and forth, not in a straight line. You might recognise yourself in different cards on different days — sometimes on the same day. That’s normal. This is about noticing where you are, not judging yourself.
What this might feel like:
- “Someone made me do this programme”
- “I don’t really see this as a big problem”
- “Other people are making a bigger deal out of this than it is”
- “I’m just here to get people off my back”
Here’s the thing: You don’t have to be “ready” to be here. You don’t have to agree with everything. You showed up — that counts for something.
What matters right now: Just noticing. That’s it. No pressure to change, no pressure to agree. Just pay attention to what happens when you’re here vs. when you’re not.
What this might feel like:
- You keep thinking about your behaviour even when you don’t want to
- You feel anxious, guilty, or uncomfortable
- You notice yourself wanting to repeat the behaviour
- You’re hiding things or lying
- Part of you knows something needs to change, even if you’re not sure what
Here’s the thing: That uncomfortable feeling? It’s actually your brain working. It’s noticing the gap between who you want to be and what you’re doing.
What matters right now: You don’t have to have answers. You don’t have to make big changes yet. Just keep noticing when things feel off. That awareness is the beginning.
What this might feel like:
- “Part of me knows this is wrong, but part of me still wants it”
- “I feel bad afterwards, but I keep doing it anyway”
- “I tell myself I’ll stop, then I don’t”
- “I want control, but I also want the feeling it gives me”
Here’s the thing: Having two opposite feelings at the same time doesn’t make you weak or fake. It makes you human. Your brain wants different things.
What matters right now: Both feelings can exist. You don’t have to resolve this perfectly right now. Just acknowledge both sides are there.
What this might feel like:
- “I’m tired of hiding”
- “I don’t want to hurt anyone”
- “I want to feel normal”
- “I don’t want to live with this fear/guilt”
- “I want better relationships”
- “I want control over my own choices”
Here’s the thing: Wanting something different is huge. You don’t need to know exactly HOW to get there yet. The fact that you want it matters.
What matters right now: Hold onto this feeling. Write it down. Remember why you want change, especially on hard days.
What this might feel like:
- Testing out small strategies
- Trying to interrupt old patterns
- Using tools or techniques you learned here
- Making small choices differently
- Seeing if you can pause, even briefly
Here’s the thing: Every small action proves you CAN do something different. You’re building evidence: “I’m not completely stuck.”
Small changes you might be trying:
- Managing your environment:
- Keeping devices in common areas
- Staying around other people more
- Avoiding situations that are high-risk for you
- Setting up accountability with someone you trust
- Interrupting patterns:
- Pausing 5 minutes before acting on an urge
- Using a breathing technique when you notice arousal or thoughts
- Physically moving to a different space
- Calling or texting someone safe
- Dealing with feelings differently:
- Noticing when you’re lonely, stressed, or bored (your high-risk states)
- Reaching out to people your age instead of isolating
- Using healthy coping tools before going online
- Doing something active when urges are strong
What matters right now: You’re experimenting. Some things will work, some won’t. You’re learning what works for YOUR brain, YOUR triggers, YOUR life.
What this might feel like:
- “That technique helped on Tuesday but not Thursday”
- “I caught myself earlier this time”
- “I still have urges, but I’m noticing them faster”
- “Some strategies work better than others”
- “I went 3 days, then 1 day, now 5 days”
Here’s the thing: This is what progress actually looks like. Not perfect. Not linear. Just learning.
You’re gathering information:
- When are you most at risk? (time, place, emotion, situation)
- What warning signs show up before you’re in danger of acting?
- What works when urges are mild vs. when they’re really strong?
- What do you need that you’re not getting? (connection, excitement, stress relief)
What matters right now: You’re not failing when something doesn’t work — you’re learning. Keep adjusting. Keep trying.
What this might feel like:
- “I was doing better, then I did it again”
- “I ruined all my progress”
- “I knew I couldn’t actually change”
- “Everyone’s going to be disappointed”
- “Why bother trying anymore?”
Here’s the thing: A setback is not the end of your progress. It’s valuable information. It shows you what you still need support with.
Most setbacks happen when:
- You’re really stressed
- You’re lonely or feeling rejected
- You’re in a high-risk situation you didn’t plan for
- You’re tired and your defences are down
- Strong emotions overwhelm your coping tools
What matters right now: What you do AFTER a setback matters more than the setback itself.
- Right after a setback:
- Don’t spiral into shame — that makes it worse
- Tell someone safe (therapist, parent, accountability person) or write down your feelings
- Get curious: What was happening right before?
- Ask: What do I need that I didn’t have in that moment?
What this feels like:
- Looking back at what happened
- Noticing patterns: “This always happens when I’m…”
- Adjusting your plan: “Next time I need…”
Here’s the thing: Setbacks show you what’s missing. Use that information.
Ask yourself three things:
- What was happening right before? (Alone, stressed, bored, saw trigger, too much scrolling…)
- What did I need in that moment? (Connection with a safe person, different location, not being alone)
- What will I do differently next time? (One specific action)
Three things to take from this
Setbacks show you what’s missing. Use that.
What was happening right before?
Alone, stressed, bored, a trigger, scrolling too long…
What did I need in that moment?
Someone to talk to, a different place, not being alone…
What will I do differently next time?
One specific thing
One small goal
Pick one thing you’ll do in the next few days.
Examples
Pick any that feel true. No wrong answers
Goal: Go back to Module 3 when a strong urge comes.
When: Next time it happens.
How: I’ll bookmark this page now so I can find it fast.
Goal: Put my phone in another room before sleep.
When: Tonight.
How: Charge it in the kitchen instead of my bedroom.
Your turn
Pick any that feel true. No wrong answers
Goal
When
How
Moving forward
You’ve looked at where you are. You’ve spotted patterns. You’ve started building strategies.
Change is possible. But for many people, this programme alone isn’t enough.
The next section looks at a question worth asking now:
Do I need more help than this?
What therapy and real-life support can do, when they matter, and how to actually get them.
About therapy and social support
You’ve done real work in this programme. Many people use what they learn here to build healthier patterns on their own.
But some people need more — and that’s normal. A therapist can help you use these tools in your specific life.
The programme gave you the tools. A therapist helps you use them in your life.
Something worth knowing: most young people who get support for this don’t carry the same problems into adulthood. Especially when support starts early.
Myth vs reality about therapy
Fact
This fear stops a lot of people from getting help, so let’s be clear.
Therapists aren’t police. Their job is to help you, not catch you out.
What you say usually stays between you and your therapist. This including past behaviour and thoughts you haven’t acted on.
There are exceptions. If someone is in immediate danger right now, therapists have a legal duty to act. Your therapist will explain exactly where those lines are in the first session.
You can ask directly: “What would you have to report, and what stays private?” A good therapist answers this clearly.
Talking about something you want to change is very different from an active situation where someone is being harmed. For most people, getting help is the opposite of getting in trouble.
Fact
Most teens have confidentiality rights. Therapists won’t share details without your permission, except for safety issues.
Ask about this in the first session, they’ll explain what stays private.
Fact
Therapists who work with this see it regularly. You’re not going to shock them.
They chose this work because they believe people can change, especially young people.
Fact
Maybe you can. But therapy gives you accountability, expert guidance, and help with what’s underneath: loneliness, anxiety, whatever brought you here.
Why make this harder than it needs to be?
Fact
Therapy might include:
- Understanding your patterns and triggers
- Building healthy coping strategies
- Addressing what’s underneath (trauma, social stress)
- Building social skills and real connections
- General life stuff (school, family, identity, future)
Not: sitting in a room talking about CSAM for an hour. That would be terrible therapy.
Talking to your parents
The real challenge: asking for therapy without giving details you’re not ready to share.
Your parents might:
- Want to “just talk” instead.
- Worry about cost.
- Ask what you’d even talk about.
- Wonder if you’re overreacting.
How to handle it
Opening the conversation, keep it simple:
My friend sees a therapist and it really helped them. I think I should try it too
I’ve been really stressed about school / life and I think talking to someone would help. Can we find a therapist?
When they ask questions:
What stuff do you want to talk about?
Personal / mental health stuff. That’s why I want to talk to a professional first
Can’t you just talk to me?
I appreciate that, but therapists are trained and not emotionally involved
Therapy is expensive
What if we try a few sessions and see if it helps?
Can we at least look for cheaper options? This matters to me
This seems extreme
You’re overreacting
I’d rather deal with this now than wait until it becomes a bigger problem.
If you can’t talk to parents
Some teens genuinely can’t involve their parents. You still have options:
School counsellor. Free, confidential, and can refer you to outside help.
Your doctor. If you see them alone, they can refer you to mental health services.
Community mental health centres. Free or low-cost. Some don’t need parental consent depending on your age and location.
Another trusted adult. An aunt, uncle, teacher, or coach who can help you access services.
Crisis lines. For when you need to talk to someone right now.
What to look for
Therapists who specialise in:
- Adolescent sexual behaviour.
- Problematic sexual behaviours.
- Internet safety or compulsive use.
Good questions for the first session:
What are your confidentiality rules?
When would you tell my parents something?
Have you worked with teens on this issue before?
If it doesn’t feel right, it’s ok to try someone else.
Your next step
What’s your most realistic first move?
When?
Change is possible. You’re not alone in this. And asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
You are not your behaviour. You came here because you want to do better. That means something.
Key takeaways
A setback does not erase your progress. What you do after it matters more. You have tools now. The hard part is remembering to use them before things get bad. You are not your behaviour. You came here because you want to do better. That means something.
You finished the programme
You made it through, well done! That’s important.
What you did
- Learned that change isn’t perfect or linear
- Figured out where you are in the change process
- Identified your triggers and warning signs
- Tried different tools
- Practiced pausing and making different choices
What you know now
- You can change
- You have tools that work
- Setbacks happen, and that’s normal
- You’re still learning
What happens after this Programme?
The programme taught you the skills. Now you practice them in real life, day by day.
That means:
- Using the tools when urges show up
- Noticing your patterns: triggers, warning signs, high-risk times
- If something stops working, try a different one
- If you forget something, come back and review
It’s a bit like learning to ride a bike. The programme was learning how. What comes next is the riding — practicing, falling sometimes, getting back on.
You learned how. Now you ride.
Feedback survey
Your feedback helps make this programme better for people who come after you. Takes about 2 minutes. Anonymous.