My path
This module helps you understand how you got here, without judgment.
Module 1 of 5 · ~15 min · Your pace
You’re not here by accident. Something brought you here, and that something matters. Let’s look at it together.
Work at your own pace. There are no right or wrong answers here. You can close the programme and come back anytime.
The fact that you’re still here already means something.
One thing before we go further
- Sexual curiosity is normal.
- Wanting to feel something is normal.
- Sexual thoughts and feelings are normal.
This programme is not here to shame you for having sexual thoughts and feelings. You are here to get help to understand how these thoughts and feelings affect your actions, and whether your behaviour is causing harm to you or someone else.
What is harmful online sexual behaviour?
First, a quick video. It explains simply what we mean by harmful sexual behaviour. Watch it at your own pace.
What is harmful sexual content?
Harmful sexual content is images and videos that sexualise children. It also includes other violent sexual content against children and adults, including adult porn.
Child sexual abuse material, known as CSAM, (often misleadingly referred to as ‘child porn’) includes images, videos, live-streaming, drawing and any other material that sexualises children and/or depicts sexual violence against a person under the age of 18.
Every image is causing harm to real children. To create that image, a real child was abused. Every time it is viewed, downloaded, or shared, that abuse continues. Demand for new material drives further abuse.
Viewing, sharing and downloading images that sexualises children can be a crime with devastating consequences to your and other’s lives.
Clothed pictures, artificial or cartoon images may seem “less harmful”, but they still represent sexualised depictions of children and can increase harmful thoughts, lower boundaries and normalise the behaviour.
Why do harmful sexual behaviours develop?
Tap the ones that you relate to or feel closest to your experience. There are no wrong answers, and nobody can see what you tap.
You might click on extreme online content or take part in harmful sexual behaviour out of curiosity or just looking for something exciting. The experience stays in your mind, and you find yourself coming back at it.
Sexual thoughts, urges, and masturbation are normal. You might get aroused even when seeing harmful content and experiencing negative feelings. You can’t really control the start of arousal. For example, one might watch violent sexual content and start to feel aroused while also feeling disgusted. Even if you cannot control the start of your arousal, you can control your behaviour.
For many people harmful sexual behaviour started with using adult porn. At first, adult porn might give you pleasure, adrenaline, or a new experience. But over time, the brain gets used to it and starts to need more stimulation – more extreme content, maybe more intense and different than adult porn. This process can be called escalation. It’s how the brain’s reward system works.
Loneliness, stress, anxiety, anger, fear, numbness or any other difficult feeling can make you search for anything to cope with and change how you feel. The content or behaviour becomes a quick escape, even if you might know it’s harmful for you and others.
You may first encounter harmful content or situations accidentally: for example, through shared links, popups, algorithms, or misleading descriptions.
You might have harmful sexual behaviour encouraged or pressured by others or in a group. You might take part to feel accepted and part of the group.
You might be reacting to something that happened to you before. This can happen even if you don’t fully remember it, or even if you don’t want to think about it. Not everyone with this experience has a difficult past – but for some people, it plays a role.
Understanding YOUR behaviour helps you to take control of your actions.
You made the right decision to click and start the programme. You can take responsibility and change your behaviour. This programme supports you to regain control to protect yourself and others.
There’s no single reason people end up here. Harmful sexual behaviour can be a way to cope with other challenges in life, but it can also become its own challenge.
Learning why it happens can help you stay in control and make safer choices.
Why stopping harmful sexual behaviour can be hard work
When your brain has gotten used to doing something to cope with difficult feelings, it doesn’t let go easily. That’s true even when it uses something that is harmful.
For some people, harmful sexual content becomes a way to manage difficult feelings: stress, loneliness, numbness, anxiety. The arousal is real, but what keeps you coming back is often the escape.
When you try to stop, your brain loses its coping tool. It pushes back.
You might feel restless, empty, frustrated, or hit by strong urges. That’s not failure. That’s your brain adjusting to something new.
When you do the same thing a lot, your brain gets used to it fast.
Changing a habit can feel uncomfortable, but that feeling goes away over time, it gets easier with practice!
Why this programme works
It’s built around one simple idea: your thoughts, feelings and behaviour are all connected. Change one, and the others shift too.
This approach is called CBT, one of the most well-evidenced methods for changing behaviour patterns.
About sexuality
Healthy sexuality is:
- Between same age people who are at the same developmental level
- Consensual
- Free from pressure, fear, secrecy, and violence
- Not harming you nor anyone else
- Private: not shared, recorded, or posted online
Healthy sexuality includes curiosity, discussions, and learning. Healthy sexuality is not just sexual activity.
What is consent?
Consent means that all people involved want to participate in the activity. Consent is always necessary for all sexual activities!
Those taking part in an activity know what the activity in question is. They clearly say (or otherwise communicate) that they want to take part in it.
Consent can be taken away at any time, for any reason.
Even if a person agrees to take part in an activity at first, they can change their mind at any point.
If a person does not say “no”, it does not mean that they say “yes”. It is very important to communicate openly. Always ask how someone feels about an action before doing it.
Disclaimer: The legal age of consent differs between countries. Either way, consent is essential and needed in every action!
NOT CONSENT
Сonfusion, silence, fear, pressure or violence.
NOT CONSENT
“They agreed before”, group pressure, repeated asking, “they agreed to one thing before”.
NOT CONSENT
Viewing or sharing content that sexualises children.
Nothing is black and white
Online sexual content and behaviour can sometimes be legal but still harmful – this is like a warning zone.
WARNING ZONE
- You watch a lot of adult porn
- You watch adult porn that focuses on power, humiliation, or control
- You watch sexual content mainly when you feel bored, lonely, stressed, or numb
- You lose track of time or control when you search for sexual content
- You need more extreme content to get aroused or to feel something
- You find that adult porn made you stop feeling aroused and nothing seems satisfying or enough
🚩 If sexual content has become a way for you to cope with difficult feelings, and you have ended up somewhere you didn’t plan to be, that is worth paying attention to.
NOT OK. STOP!
Any content involving and sexualising children is always a red zone.
This includes:
- Images or videos that sexualise children.
- Sexual content where someone’s age is unclear or they ‘look young’.
- AI-generated images and videos.
- Manga, drawings, illustrations or animations that sexualise children.
- Such content shared in private chats, hidden groups, or encrypted platforms.
IMPORTANT: a child cannot agree to be shown or involved in images or videos or any content that sexualise children.
In many countries like the US, the UK or Finland, sharing nudes of a person under 18 years of age is illegal, even if the person consents to it.
Which statements are true?
- You see a young person who is in a sexualised image or video.
- You think they look ‘old enough’, they smile, and appear compliant.
- You are ‘just watching’.
Select all statements that are true:
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
REALITY CHECK
Even “just viewing” means a child is harmed, you are reinforcing the abuse, and your own risk of offending increases.
About AI images and drawings
AI-generated images, drawings, or animations that sexualise children and young people are harmful.
❌ Even if:
- No real child was photographed
- It feels “less real”
- It’s shared as art or fantasy
It supports a culture where children are seen as sexual objects.
👮 AI generated images and drawings that sexualise children are already illegal in many countries.
Quick self-check
Which of these statements are true?
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
FALSE
It’s normal to be curious about sexual things. However, any content that sexualises children or depicts sexual violence against children causes real harm to children. There are safer and healthier ways to learn about sexuality. Continue the programme to learn more!
FALSE
Even if the person in the content looks close to your age or seems like they are “going along with it”, you can never know if they are the same age as you or have given their consent. Even if something is circulating online and easily available, it doesn’t automatically mean that it’s okay to view or share it.
You are making progress! Understanding the line between harmful sexual content and behaviour is already a step away from crossing it. You don’t have to fix everything at once.
You are making progress!
Understanding the line between harmful sexual content and behaviour is already a step away from crossing it.
You don’t have to fix everything at once.
How your brain excuses harmful sexual behaviour
When your brain wants something, it creates reasons and thoughts that support your actions, so that you can feel okay.
Sometimes you do something and another part of you feels unsure or even guilty about it. Your brain tries to fix this uncomfortable feeling fast.
Your body wants something
You act harmfully
You feel uncomfortable, guilty, or awkward afterward
Your brain tries to fix the situation
You’re not alone in this. Let’s look at how this plays out with harmful sexual behaviour.
Tap each step to see what it looks like:
A sexual urge
Searching for content that sexualises children.
Discomfort, guilt, shame.
Your brain tells you it’s okay: ‘It’s digital’, ‘I’m not touching anyone’, ‘It’s just pictures’.
These thoughts feel real. But ask yourself:
❌ No.
❌No.
❌ No.
All these thoughts are excuses your brain uses to justify harmful action.
You just looked at something most people avoid entirely. That’s not easy – and you did it anyway.
How are you feeling after this module?
Key takeaways
- Your behaviour follows a pattern. Patterns can be changed.
- Your thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected.
- Harmful sexual behaviour always has an impact, even online.
Feel free to take a pause and return later or continue to Module 2.
Module 2
My life and my online behaviour
~20 min reading
A note about your experience
A note if you’ve been sexually exploited, abused or exposed to content that sexualises children or child sexual abuse material when you were younger: What happened to you was not your fault. Coping with trauma might lead to confusing harmful sexual behaviour, but there is help available, you deserve support for it.
Find support I understand